So many people are suffering now from great trauma. As a young wife with two babies, my world collapsed when my husband’s Marine Reserve unit deployed to serve overseas in a crisis. I didn’t know when, or if, I’d see him again.
At the time, we also had a family business. In a matter of hours, I went from being a stay-at-home mom to shouldering employee payroll and sorting vendor payments. Afraid and overwhelmed, I operated like a robot to do the next chore.
While I combated financial arrangements at the office, I worried how my young children coped. Have you also been engulfed by unexpected events when fear consumed you?
I’ll never forget what comforted me that first week amid the crises.
1. My pastor called and came over to visit. He listened compassionately and prayed for me. He didn’t deliver pie-in-the-sky sermons. He left the pulpit to be present with the quiet assurance that I wouldn’t have to stand alone.
2. Extended family helped babysit so I could work outside the home and do what needed to be done.
3. My childhood best friend came over and sat with me on the couch at night. She gave a tender hug that made me feel safe.
4. A girlfriend made cannoli from scratch and delivered it hot with buttered garlic bread and a fresh salad so I wouldn’t have to cook dinner that night.
5. Another girlfriend stopped by and read a bedtime story to my toddler while I collapsed in exhaustion on the couch. She showered love on us in our greatest hour of need.
These simple kindnesses assured me that I wasn’t abandoned in that horrible time of uncertainty. God sent support when I needed it most.
Dr. Deborah Davis, a psychologist, provides good advice how to stand with those who are grieving in her online article “10 Tips for Offering Real Comfort to People in Crisis.”
“When offering comfort, don’t try to fix it or give advice, by pointing out silver linings, telling them to buck up, saying how it could be worse, or opining how to make it better.”
She added not to steal the spotlight. “Do not talk about yourself--or anyone else…your focus belongs on them.”
More of her professional tips can be viewed at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/laugh-cry-live/201810/10-tips-offering-real-comfort-people-in-crisis.
What are other helpful ways to express love for others in difficulty? Let’s start a thread for good strategies that lessen the burdens of those drowning in grief.
If you have a good recipe for comfort food that is easy to warm up, please share that too.
The Food Network offers 101 recipes for easy comfort food at https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/packages/comfort-foods/easy-comfort-food-recipes/easy-comfort-food-recipes.
